I live alone and don't have much social connection, but I don't feel lonely. I feel like I'm happier alone than with a bunch of people around me. I do have a sister nearby that I can somewhat count on and good neighbors who would help me in a time of need. But I'm introverted and enjoy my own company. Yeah, it might be nice to have a close connection with a friend, but I don't think it's necessary. Some people just make me more anxious and stressed. I feel I'm better off being alone. No stress or anxiety seems like a better outcome than having it. But that's just me, I know others who thrive on social connections.
I worry that remote work from home is encouraging loneliness and lack of social connection. I read a study that found women actually liked talking with one another at work, sharing with a work colleague. It was always one of my main ways of feeling connected and valued when I was working full-time (even with three active kids and a husband).
That's a very important point Susan. For many people, the workplace provided a reliable source of daily social interaction and a sense of belonging. Remote work has many advantages, but it can also reduce those spontaneous moments of connection that support emotional and even physical health. I miss that too!
This is a good reminder that health is shaped by more than the numbers we routinely check. The relationships we build and maintain may seem separate from physical health, but they are deeply connected to how we function and cope over time.
Exactly. Relationships are often viewed as separate from physical health, when in reality they influence many of the same biological pathways that drive long-term health. As medicine becomes more preventive, I hope we start treating social connection as a health metric rather than simply a quality-of-life issue.
This is a vital truth that might be a root cause of chronic disease and the current general sense of existential stress. Thank you for shining a light on this mostly missed aspect of our health, Dr. Sara.
Thank you, Patti. I agree, social connection is often treated as a “nice to have,” when the evidence suggests it's a fundamental determinant of health. We tend to focus on what people eat or how they exercise, but feeling seen, supported, and connected may be just as important for long-term physical and mental well-being.
Sara - This is such an important piece. Thank you for writing it. In my clinical work, especially with men, loneliness often appears alongside depression, anxiety, poor sleep, diminished motivation, or a gradual loss of interest in their lives. Only after we hit those things do I get a chance to suggest maybe they feel lonely and see how they respond to this thought.
One challenge is that loneliness cannot always be addressed simply by encouraging people to socialize more. For many, closeness itself has become difficult or unfamiliar. My work may then involve helping them understand why and encouraging small steps beyond their comfort zones that fit their personalities rather than pushing them toward a version of connection that does not feel like who they want to be.
I really appreciate this perspective Bronce. One of the biggest misconceptions is that loneliness can be solved simply by increasing social activity. As you point out, for many people the challenge is rebuilding the ability to form meaningful, emotionally safe connections.
I’ll count it Cynthia! And comments like yours are one of the things I love most about writing here, they create a genuine sense of community. Thank you for reading, and for adding to that connection.
I live alone and don't have much social connection, but I don't feel lonely. I feel like I'm happier alone than with a bunch of people around me. I do have a sister nearby that I can somewhat count on and good neighbors who would help me in a time of need. But I'm introverted and enjoy my own company. Yeah, it might be nice to have a close connection with a friend, but I don't think it's necessary. Some people just make me more anxious and stressed. I feel I'm better off being alone. No stress or anxiety seems like a better outcome than having it. But that's just me, I know others who thrive on social connections.
I worry that remote work from home is encouraging loneliness and lack of social connection. I read a study that found women actually liked talking with one another at work, sharing with a work colleague. It was always one of my main ways of feeling connected and valued when I was working full-time (even with three active kids and a husband).
That's a very important point Susan. For many people, the workplace provided a reliable source of daily social interaction and a sense of belonging. Remote work has many advantages, but it can also reduce those spontaneous moments of connection that support emotional and even physical health. I miss that too!
This is a good reminder that health is shaped by more than the numbers we routinely check. The relationships we build and maintain may seem separate from physical health, but they are deeply connected to how we function and cope over time.
Exactly. Relationships are often viewed as separate from physical health, when in reality they influence many of the same biological pathways that drive long-term health. As medicine becomes more preventive, I hope we start treating social connection as a health metric rather than simply a quality-of-life issue.
This is a vital truth that might be a root cause of chronic disease and the current general sense of existential stress. Thank you for shining a light on this mostly missed aspect of our health, Dr. Sara.
Thank you, Patti. I agree, social connection is often treated as a “nice to have,” when the evidence suggests it's a fundamental determinant of health. We tend to focus on what people eat or how they exercise, but feeling seen, supported, and connected may be just as important for long-term physical and mental well-being.
Yes, yes! 🙏
:)
Sara - This is such an important piece. Thank you for writing it. In my clinical work, especially with men, loneliness often appears alongside depression, anxiety, poor sleep, diminished motivation, or a gradual loss of interest in their lives. Only after we hit those things do I get a chance to suggest maybe they feel lonely and see how they respond to this thought.
One challenge is that loneliness cannot always be addressed simply by encouraging people to socialize more. For many, closeness itself has become difficult or unfamiliar. My work may then involve helping them understand why and encouraging small steps beyond their comfort zones that fit their personalities rather than pushing them toward a version of connection that does not feel like who they want to be.
I really appreciate this perspective Bronce. One of the biggest misconceptions is that loneliness can be solved simply by increasing social activity. As you point out, for many people the challenge is rebuilding the ability to form meaningful, emotionally safe connections.
Oh wow. Brilliant, relevant and useful. Thank you so much! This gratitude is so profound it should count as a real social interaction!
I’ll count it Cynthia! And comments like yours are one of the things I love most about writing here, they create a genuine sense of community. Thank you for reading, and for adding to that connection.