Your piece here is so valuable and clear in how to help oneself and others along the way to being able to reclaim one’s life, even knowing that the missing never goes away.
Thanks so much for sharing this Sara. I’m sorry to hear of your Mum’s passing. My experience was similar - I was 27 and Mum was just 60 when she died from Lymphoma. She was diagnosed with approx. 6 months but passed away 4 weeks later. I’ve recently been exploring this myself (I’m now 45 but my grief resurfaced when I had my children) and have begun writing more about it. It’s so key for people to know that grief will touch us all and can be journeyed through so differently 💛
Amanda, thank you for sharing this, I’m so sorry about your mum. That kind of sudden shift from months to weeks leaves so much unprocessed, and it makes sense that it’s resurfacing now as you move through motherhood. Grief has a way of returning when life opens new emotional layers. I really respect that you’re writing about it, bringing it into the light, as you said, is often where healing begins, not by removing the grief, but by making space for it to exist differently 🤍
Thank you Sara, yes very true so many emotional layers in life can affect our grief journey. I’m procrastinating slightly in really diving into the writing but am giving myself grace as it’s tough, but equally know it’ll be a healing experience as well. Thanks again 🙏🏼
I read your comment after I posted - I have a similar story with my father and his lymphoma diagnosis/sudden death, although he was given a very high “cure rate”! I’m so sorry but am thankful for your writing helping others!
Thanks so much Abbie. I’m very sorry for your loss, I can imagine the devastation being told a positive outlook then your dad passing away so suddenly. I also understand the guilt attached, I feel we probably all have that in some way.
By writing about my grief more, I feel it’s helping bring it into the light for me, which I’m sure will be a good thing.
Yes, that last part of your intro sentence: “ … and how people slowly, imperfectly, learn to live alongside it.”
My son died (12/21/2002) at 41 from an accidental, prescribed drug, overdose. He loved life and having fun. He was in a new job and healthy except for severe pain that required meds for relief.
His sudden death ripped me apart. I hurt so bad i didn’t know if I would survive it. But I did survive, with huge support from everyone who walked with me as I slowly recovered. This was essential!
At 82, I’ve naturally lost both parents, 15 years apart. Recently my only sibling (2 weeks ago), my beloved husband (7.5 years ago) and all too often friends and icons from my young adult years. This last always looming: who will be next? Have you heard from…? Will I be next? Will you, my dear friend? It’s hard, often unexpected, sometimes not.
Serene, thank you for sharing something so deeply personal. What you’ve lived through carries a kind of pain that’s hard to put into words, and the fact that you’re here, reflecting on it with such clarity, says so much about your strength. I’m really glad you had people walking alongside you, that kind of support can make all the difference. And what you said about loss continuing across life, that awareness of how fragile everything is… it’s so real, and so rarely spoken out loud. Thank you for bringing that truth here 🤍
Thank you so much for this! I lost my Dad in the summer of 2024. He was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma but given a 70% chance he would be “cured”. We were SO hopeful but after 1 round of chemo, he could not recover and passed away quickly and painlessly after a fall, 2 months in all. Because his prognosis was so positive, I felt so much guilt from us telling him to be more positive when he would try to let out his emotions to us. I felt so guilty thinking he must have felt bulldozed by our positivity but had to accept he probably knew I was struggling to accept this was really bad and he heard everything in love and support. I hear every diagnosis differently now - you just never know what is really going on inside your body and the doctors try their best but they don’t really know either. Only a firm trust that God is in control, He can handle the big questions we throw at him and he can lead us to a deeper trust in Him can help grief like this. And I agree, our world wants to ignore death like the plague! (Which is ironic too 🤪) we need more talk around this because the death rate is 100%!
Abbie, thank you for sharing this so honestly. I’m so sorry about your dad, especially after being given so much hope. That kind of sudden loss can leave so much guilt behind, but wanting him to stay positive came from love, fear, and hope, not dismissal. I love what you said about hearing every diagnosis differently now; grief changes the way we understand uncertainty. And yes, we need to talk about death more, pretending it isn’t part of life only makes people feel more alone. 🤍
Your piece here is so valuable and clear in how to help oneself and others along the way to being able to reclaim one’s life, even knowing that the missing never goes away.
Thanks so much for sharing this Sara. I’m sorry to hear of your Mum’s passing. My experience was similar - I was 27 and Mum was just 60 when she died from Lymphoma. She was diagnosed with approx. 6 months but passed away 4 weeks later. I’ve recently been exploring this myself (I’m now 45 but my grief resurfaced when I had my children) and have begun writing more about it. It’s so key for people to know that grief will touch us all and can be journeyed through so differently 💛
Amanda, thank you for sharing this, I’m so sorry about your mum. That kind of sudden shift from months to weeks leaves so much unprocessed, and it makes sense that it’s resurfacing now as you move through motherhood. Grief has a way of returning when life opens new emotional layers. I really respect that you’re writing about it, bringing it into the light, as you said, is often where healing begins, not by removing the grief, but by making space for it to exist differently 🤍
Thank you Sara, yes very true so many emotional layers in life can affect our grief journey. I’m procrastinating slightly in really diving into the writing but am giving myself grace as it’s tough, but equally know it’ll be a healing experience as well. Thanks again 🙏🏼
I read your comment after I posted - I have a similar story with my father and his lymphoma diagnosis/sudden death, although he was given a very high “cure rate”! I’m so sorry but am thankful for your writing helping others!
Thanks so much Abbie. I’m very sorry for your loss, I can imagine the devastation being told a positive outlook then your dad passing away so suddenly. I also understand the guilt attached, I feel we probably all have that in some way.
By writing about my grief more, I feel it’s helping bring it into the light for me, which I’m sure will be a good thing.
Yes, that last part of your intro sentence: “ … and how people slowly, imperfectly, learn to live alongside it.”
My son died (12/21/2002) at 41 from an accidental, prescribed drug, overdose. He loved life and having fun. He was in a new job and healthy except for severe pain that required meds for relief.
His sudden death ripped me apart. I hurt so bad i didn’t know if I would survive it. But I did survive, with huge support from everyone who walked with me as I slowly recovered. This was essential!
At 82, I’ve naturally lost both parents, 15 years apart. Recently my only sibling (2 weeks ago), my beloved husband (7.5 years ago) and all too often friends and icons from my young adult years. This last always looming: who will be next? Have you heard from…? Will I be next? Will you, my dear friend? It’s hard, often unexpected, sometimes not.
Serene, thank you for sharing something so deeply personal. What you’ve lived through carries a kind of pain that’s hard to put into words, and the fact that you’re here, reflecting on it with such clarity, says so much about your strength. I’m really glad you had people walking alongside you, that kind of support can make all the difference. And what you said about loss continuing across life, that awareness of how fragile everything is… it’s so real, and so rarely spoken out loud. Thank you for bringing that truth here 🤍
Thank you so much for this! I lost my Dad in the summer of 2024. He was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma but given a 70% chance he would be “cured”. We were SO hopeful but after 1 round of chemo, he could not recover and passed away quickly and painlessly after a fall, 2 months in all. Because his prognosis was so positive, I felt so much guilt from us telling him to be more positive when he would try to let out his emotions to us. I felt so guilty thinking he must have felt bulldozed by our positivity but had to accept he probably knew I was struggling to accept this was really bad and he heard everything in love and support. I hear every diagnosis differently now - you just never know what is really going on inside your body and the doctors try their best but they don’t really know either. Only a firm trust that God is in control, He can handle the big questions we throw at him and he can lead us to a deeper trust in Him can help grief like this. And I agree, our world wants to ignore death like the plague! (Which is ironic too 🤪) we need more talk around this because the death rate is 100%!
Abbie, thank you for sharing this so honestly. I’m so sorry about your dad, especially after being given so much hope. That kind of sudden loss can leave so much guilt behind, but wanting him to stay positive came from love, fear, and hope, not dismissal. I love what you said about hearing every diagnosis differently now; grief changes the way we understand uncertainty. And yes, we need to talk about death more, pretending it isn’t part of life only makes people feel more alone. 🤍