Mental Health Questions That Can Shift Everything (In the Best Way)
A Psychologist Answers the Questions We All Carry—With Honesty, Clarity, and Care
Dear friends,
I'm thrilled to announce a brand new series, where I’ll be showcasing interviews with some leading health professionals from a wide range of areas. My goal with this newsletter has always been to provide you with holistic, practical science-based tips to help you feel your best—body, mind, and beyond.
And what better way to do that than by inviting diverse expert voices to help us complete the full picture of well-being?
For this first interview, I asked our guest 10 questions that we all tend to think about regularly, and I am sure you’ll love his thoughtful responses and the depth and clarity he brings.
Looking ahead, paid members will have the chance to submit their own questions for future guests—so if there’s something you’ve been wanting to ask, you’ll get the opportunity to do just that. You can upgrade using the button below: 👇
I’m truly honored to kick off this series with
, Psychoanalyst and Psychologist with the goal of helping you understand your Wellbeing Equation beyond generic self-help advice.Here’s some information about
:Hi! I’m Dr. Bronce Rice, a psychologist and psychoanalyst with over 25 years of clinical and research experience. My wellbeing space was born from a simple but powerful realization: our wellbeing isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s personal, it takes dedicated time and space to figure out—and it’s more like a fingerprint than a formula. I help people explore how their habits, emotions, relationships, and internal patterns shape their unique "equations of living"—the combinations that help us feel more whole, more alive, and more at home in ourselves.
With roots in both science and soul, my newsletter brings together psychology, self-awareness, and daily life practices. You’ll find reflections that go deeper than surface-level wellness trends—offering thoughtful, psychologically grounded ways to live with greater clarity, authenticity, and care. Whether you’re looking for insight, inspiration, healing, or simply space to reflect—my wellbeing space is the right place for this.
You can subscribe to his newsletter, The Wellbeing Equation, here:👇
Here are 10 thoughtful questions we’ve all likely asked ourselves at some point. I hope the answers bring you clarity, comfort, or a fresh perspective.
1. You describe wellbeing as a unique equation shaped by each person’s life. How do mental and emotional factors play into that equation?
Mental and emotional factors are central to the wellbeing equation because they shape how we interpret and respond to our experiences. It’s not just what happens to us but it’s also how we metabolize what happens to us internally. Our thought patterns, emotional regulation, unconscious conflicts, and even how we relate to ourselves over time all influence whether we feel connected, resilient, at ease in our lives and comfortable in our skin, if you will. In my work as a psychologist and psychoanalyst, I’ve seen that a more sustainable sense of wellbeing often begins with self-awareness: understanding the internal narratives we bring with us and how they shape our experience of ourselves and others, the defenses we use, and the emotional struggles we have that are often extremely hard to process. When our inner dynamics are acknowledged and worked with, not bypassed, they often become the raw material for deeper, more authentic change. In other words, they shape not just how we feel, but how fully we can live, and that, to me, is the heart of a happier, more compassionate way of being.
I’ll give a short clinical example to unpack this a bit further. A woman in her early 40s came to therapy reporting burnout and a vague sense that she was “failing at life,” despite having a successful career and stable relationships. On the surface, her life checked all the boxes. But internally, she carried a harsh, perfectionistic voice, rooted in early experiences with a critical mother, that framed any perceived imperfection on her end as utter failure. She ended up in my office exhausted not from doing too much, but from how she emotionally processed her way of proceeding in her daily life.
Through our work, she began to recognize her internal critic as an older form of self-protection: something that once kept her striving and safe, in relation to her mother, but now left her depleted of joy and interest in herself and other important aspects of life itself. As she built more emotional awareness and learned to relate to herself with greater compassion, she didn’t just feel better, she also began making different choices that improved her emotional wellbeing. She adjusted how she worked, how she felt and went about taking breaks, allowing herself to enjoy exercise and even how she spoke to herself while doing so. Though the changes in her external life seemed somewhat minimal, her emotional experience of daily life became noticeably more spacious, self-compassionate and at times joyful.
That’s why it’s so important to bring our unique mental and emotional factors into our personal equations of living as they often hold the keys to change that feels meaningful and helps us sustain a healthier way of living and relating to ourselves and others.
2. In a culture that rewards constant productivity, how can people reintroduce rest into their lives if they feel guilty, anxious, or uncomfortable slowing down?
This is such an important question because rest in certain cultures, such as mine in the United States, can be framed as laziness or that it means we’re not important productive citizens, rather than rest being something important and necessary to healthier, more joyful living. Something that is restorative and central to what helps us feel more alive and enjoy ourselves and life more fully.
In my experience in helping others understand the importance of how we think about and relate to rest, guilt and anxiety about slowing down often stem from internalized messages, voices of expectation and worth being tied to doing more and more rather than being and just being okay as we are without having someone else outside ourselves tell us how to live. An important first step can be learning to notice those voices without immediately obeying them, much like how we’d work with an inner critic.
I often encourage people who come to see me to begin with micro-moments of rest; pausing for a few deep breaths while noting, It’s okay, I’m okay; stepping outside briefly to experience natural light; or eating a meal without engaging in simultaneous tasks such as checking emails. These are small behavioral experiments that allow individuals to observe, in real time, how rest can regulate the nervous system and support emotional wellbeing. Over time, these practices help rewire internal associations—positioning rest not as a disruption to productivity, but as a psychologically and physiologically necessary part of functioning and feeling well.
3. What are some early signs that someone’s mental wellbeing might be out of balance, even if they’re “functioning” day-to-day?
Even when someone appears to be “functioning well enough” , say going to work, meeting their deadlines, showing up for others, early signs of mental imbalance can begin to surface in subtle ways others may not notice.
For instance, there may be a persistent sense of disconnection from pleasure or meaning such as a person just going through the motions of their daily routine but not feeling connected to themselves in ways that feel good to them. A person might say things like “I’m just tired” or “I don’t feel like myself,” even when nothing obvious on the outside of things seems wrong. Emotionally, they may become more irritable or numb. Sleep can become intermittent or fragmented. They may have a hard time decompressing and when they attempt to rest it may no longer feel restorative or they have a hard time feeling settled within themselves.
They may find it difficult to feel comfortable in their own skin, even when they have time on their hands and they attempt to do things they enjoyed previously. Others may need to stay busy and this can become a kind of way of coping or living: jumping from task to task, avoiding sitting still, or flooding the in-between moments between activities with distraction like obsessively checking email or doom scrolling. Perhaps, small decisions begin to feel unusually effortful or fraught with anxiety like no matter what they choose it will end up being wrong.
In clinical terms, we sometimes refer to this as ego-dystonic functioning when someone appears to be coping on the outside, but internally they feel misaligned or at odds with themselves. It’s often a signal or cue that something deeper is going on that isn’t being addressed in how they are going about their lives—leading to feelings of disconnection from the best parts of ourselves.
4. How can people deal with the inner voice that says they’re not doing enough, even when they’re overwhelmed?
That voice that says “you’re not doing enough” even when you’re already overwhelmed often comes from a deeper place. It’s part of how we’ve learned to relate to ourselves over time. For many people, it’s tied to early experiences where attention or approval was only given when they achieved something: a grade, an accolade, or done particularly well during a performance. Over time, those patterns can become internalized, making it hard to feel settled unless there’s something to strive for.
We also live in a culture that reinforces this: keep going, stay productive, don’t pause for too long as it won’t lead to good things. The focus is often on the next thing rather than learning how to enjoy the healthy parts of simply being who you are, in the process, not just a desired outcome.
In therapy, I worked with someone who could never let herself rest without feeling a lot of guilt. Through our work, it became clear that her sense of worth was tied to being seen as “the responsible one” in her family. Her inner critic wasn’t just self-judgment, it was a way of staying loyal to an old identity that had once kept her safe and offered her important elements of care and love. As we explored this, a new internal voice could begin to emerge: one that allowed room for rest without fear of abandonment and love for being good enough just as she was.
Instead of trying to silence the voice, it can be more helpful to get curious about it. What is it protecting? Who is it protecting? What does it assume will happen if we slow down? And can another voice begin to emerge, one that sees our limits not as failings, but as part of being human? This shift in inner dialogue can be the beginning of a more sustainable, meaningful and loving way of living.
5. In your experience, what’s an underrated but essential factor in long-term emotional or psychological health?
One of the most underrated, and essential, factors in long-term emotional and psychological health is taking care of the physiological foundation that supports our mental life. And at the core of that foundation is sleep. Sleep hygiene isn’t just about getting more rest; it’s about supporting the rhythms that help regulate mood, attention, memory, and our emotions over time. When we aren’t sleeping well, we often experience an increase in emotional reactivity, a decreased ability to reflect, and a heightened sense of overwhelm—all of which make deeper psychological work harder to sustain.
In clinical work, I often start with a few basic shifts: dimming lights in the evening to cue melatonin, limiting late-night screen exposure, and creating a regular wind-down routine that tells the nervous system it’s safe to shift gears. These may seem small, but over time they restore a sense of internal rhythm, something many of us lose in high-stress or trauma-affected environments.
From there, it becomes easier to introduce other day-to-day stress reduction measures: micro-pauses for slower, deeper breathing, mindful eating without multitasking, brief walks between appointments, or even the simple act of noticing how we’re speaking to ourselves. These aren’t things we should just do when we feel extremely stressed; they’re regulatory tools meant to be used daily. They help stabilize our nervous system in ways that make emotional insight and relational change possible.
Long-term mental health isn’t built only on insight. It’s also built on curiosity, consistency, compassion and small, sustaining practices that bring the mind and body back into relationship with one another.
6. What’s a wellness trend or piece of advice that you believe often does more harm than good?
One piece of advice I see doing more harm than good is the blanket encouragement to “just think positive”, as if mindset alone can override deep emotional patterns, complex histories, or real-life circumstances. Along similar lines, the idea that “all we need is love” can be misleading. While love is vital, it’s not always enough to heal what hasn’t yet been understood, felt, or made sense of. Without emotional safety, self-awareness, and room for complexity, even well-intentioned love can miss the mark and cause unintended harm.
While cultivating optimism has its place, pushing positivity too quickly can become a form of emotional bypassing. It often leaves people feeling ashamed of their very real grief, anger, or anxiety, as if difficult emotions are signs of failure rather than signals worth being curious about and listening to.
In therapy, I’ve worked with people who’ve internalized the idea that if they’re still struggling, it must mean they’re not “doing healing right.” But emotional growth isn’t a straight line, and healing is not an all at once thing. Sometimes, the most meaningful progress looks like slowing down, grieving what was lost, or letting yourself feel uncertain without rushing to make it better or make a quick decision because we feel uncomfortable.
Our health and wellness isn’t about overriding our emotional experiences but about developing a deeper, more honest relationship with them. That includes making room for both hope and heartbreak alike. For many, that’s where real change and healing begins.
7. Can you share a psychological insight or concept that you find particularly helpful in your work with patients?
One psychological insight I return to often in my work is this: symptoms are adaptations. They may be painful, limiting, or confusing but they usually formed for a reason tied to complex emotions. At some point, they more often than not made something more bearable, protected us and our psyche, or helped us navigate a situation that felt too overwhelming to face directly.
This doesn’t mean we want to stay stuck in them. But it does mean that understanding the symptom, with curiosity rather than judgment, can open the door to change, maybe different ways of feeling or even newer ways of being. It shifts the question from “How do I get rid of this?” to “What is this trying to show or teach me?”
In psychoanalytic work, I often explore how current struggles are tied to earlier relational patterns. A harsh inner critic may echo the voice of a parent whose love felt conditional. An inability to rest may reflect a long-standing belief that safety is only earned through doing something just the exact right way. By slowing down and staying with these patterns, and being curious about them together, people can begin to rework their internal world, not just suppress symptoms, but actually reshape how they relate and feel and experience themselves.
Insight alone isn’t everything, of course. But when paired with a steady, attuned relationship, inside and out, it becomes a powerful healing tool for transformation.
8. What are some common ways people unknowingly sabotage their own mental health?
One of the most common ways people unknowingly sabotage their mental health is by pushing themselves to keep going without ever pausing to reflect, especially when they’re overwhelmed. We live in a culture that rewards productivity and self-reliance, so it’s easy to fall into the habit trap of minimizing distress, avoiding emotion, or telling ourselves, “I’ll deal with that later.” But “later” often never comes and the physical and emotional costs build exponentially.
Another form of self-sabotage is staying stuck in comparison: measuring our worth against someone else’s timeline, appearance, success, or emotional state. This tendency comes naturally to many of us who grow up surrounded by parents, teachers, and elders who shape our understanding of what we should be doing in order to grow up healthy, successful, or “on track.” Those early messages can be deeply ingrained particularly when aspects are healthy to some degree or another. But as adults, continuing to compare ourselves to others, using outdated ways of doing this that aren’t healthy, often keeps us disconnected from our own pace, needs, and values separate. At some point, not comparing, at least not in that automatic way, becomes the healthier, more sustaining choice we want to consciously choose.
More subtly, a lot of us often turn away from the very parts of ourselves that most need compassion, the sad parts, the angry parts, the parts that still try to make sense of something painful. Instead of listening with curiosity, we can be too quick to judge or avoid what doesn’t feel good. But what we exile inside ourselves tends to resurface elsewhere: in anxiety, in relationships, in the body and in ways we have less control of because we aren’t working with the root cause of our suffering.
Let me say that mental health isn't about fixing everything, it’s more about learning how to stay in relationship with ourselves, even when things feel hard or are unclear to us on the surface. Things often begin to shift in healthier ways when we stop abandoning ourselves in small, everyday ways.
9. Many people feel overwhelmed by stress, emotional fatigue or burnout. What small, daily or weekly practices can help re-center mental balance?
When people are feeling overwhelmed, the advice to “do more for your wellbeing” can feel like just another item on an already impossible to-do list. That’s why I often encourage small, repeatable practices that slowly reconnect us to ourselves and our wellbeing.
One place to start is by anchoring our body. Even a few minutes of walking without our phone, taking a few deep breaths with our feet on the floor, or stepping outside in the morning light can send a signal to the nervous system: I’m here, and I’m safe enough to slow down.
Another core practice is intentionally inserting time for this slowing down related to rejuvenation. This might look like a short nap, ten minutes of stretching, a few moments or minutes in the middle of the day to simply breathe, or going to bed just thirty minutes earlier (my favorite!). They help us regulate ourselves in healthy ways. They allow the mind and body to restore their rhythm, which is essential for emotional balance over time.
In my own life, one of the most sustaining practices I’ve kept is taking a hike most days on my lunch break. I’ve had to extend my lunch hour to make it work, which means I forgo seeing an additional client during that time. But what it gives back to me is measurable: improved mood, increased serotonin and dopamine, less irritability, less anxiety. I come back more attuned, more available, especially to the person who’s often arriving in my office wrestling with the very same overwhelm I just walked myself through.
On a weekly level, I often suggest looking at the structure of your time. Where might you make a bit more space for yourself, your energy, or your needs? A Saturday morning with no plans? A workday that ends a bit earlier? These are boundary-setting measures that protect your ability to feel, think, and relate and they allow space for your internal world to come back online.
Ultimately, what helps most is approaching these rituals with kindness and an attitude of this too can help me live more healthily. The goal is to slowly reestablish a relationship with your own needs, so that life begins to feel more livable from the inside out.
10. What are some common myths or misunderstandings you often see about what it means to be mentally “healthy”?
One of the most common myths I see is the idea that being mentally “healthy” means being happy all the time or at the very least, calm, confident, and in control. But our mental health isn’t about achieving a fixed emotional state. It’s about building the capacity to move through a range of emotions without collapsing into shame or self-abandonment.
Another misunderstanding is the belief that mental health means being completely independent, as though needing support or reassurance is a sign in and of itself that something is wrong. In reality, our mental wellbeing is often shaped most deeply by how we relate to ourselves and others during our times of struggle. Resilience isn’t about doing it all alone; it’s about knowing when, how and with whom to lean in to.
People also tend to assume that once you’ve done “the work,” you won’t revisit old patterns again. But healing is rarely linear. Growth often involves revisiting the same material from a different level of awareness or different phase in our lives. What changes over time isn’t that the pattern disappears, but that our relationship to it becomes less reactive, more compassionate, and we develop more choices to choose from.
To me, mental health is less about “getting over” things and more about how honestly and sustainably we live with ourselves in the ongoing process of healing, adapting and consciously participating in the sacred work of becoming.
I truly hope you found this post helpful. If you want to continue receiving these emails, you can subscribe here:
Paid members will be able to connect with Dr. Bronce in the comments and submit questions they'd like future guests to answer.
To your zenith within,
Sara Redondo, MD
P.S. Here are the places you can find
:His newsletter 👇
His website 👉 https://www.broncerice.com/
LinkedIn 👉 https://www.linkedin.com/in/broncerice/
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So excited for this series, Sara! And what a great start to it with a wonderful guest!
Sara, Bronce, you both are doing extremely important and valuable work! Thank you!
Thank you for putting this focus on mental health! And for this insightful interview with Dr. Bronce Rice! Both you and he have so much insight and wisdom to add to the Substack community!